FAILURE

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.. Its been a while since last time i posted on this blog. Busy dengan real life. Tak tau nak mula dari mana actually. hmm.. Ok lets start from the very beginning.

After SPM, i proceeded my study at uitm arau. Omg ni macam from very beginning sangat pulak. ok sebab takmau taip panjang, long story short, i dah habis dah my 3 years of diploma (in science) last april. Suppose to finish after 2 and a half year tapi tu la kan, kena extend one semester sebab ada few subjects yang sangkut. Mostly chemistry. hahaha. I am a very weak student. So bila dah weak pastu plus dengan banyak main pastu dengan perangai yang jenis nak mudah ja semua benda and tak kisah pun score ka tak asal lepas cukup makan ja, haaa! jadi macam ni la :( menyesal pun tak guna kan sebab benda dah lepas. At least i still manage to finish my study kan. ALHAMDULILLAH :') 

So nak cerita ni about how i able to handle the failure. Actually, tbh, i don't. LOL. I really don't know what to do. Every time i failed, in anything la, for example macam baru ni result UPU keluar, i didn't get any offer for my degree, SEDIH NAK MAMPUSSSS! And i was so stressed and sad sampai tak cakap dengan anyone at all that day. Even my parents. Mama ada la tanya "macam mana result UPU?" I just jawab "tak dapat :(" tu ja then masuk bilik esok tu baru keluar. I know this habit is sooooo bad. Habit yang suka pendam tak mau cerita kat orang langsung. Tapi nak buat cemana dah memang macam ni. I try jugak nak cerita kat my friends or my bf about my problem tapi tak terkeluaq :( i really really really hope that i can actually be more open with them. 

Tapi jangan risau, i dah buat rayuan for both penerapan to uitm and UPU so hopefully boleh dapat insya Allah :') and for rayuan kali ni i decided to choose courses that suit my interest more. Tak kisah la nanti apa orang nak kata pun, i redha ^^ bukannya tak berani nak challenge diri tapi i just wanna try to pursue my dream. cewahhhhh! tapi ni kira challenge jugak la sebab i am changing my "lane". from pure science to what? i don't know yet.. tengok la rezeki nak dapat yang mana. Allah nak bagi yang macam mana for me to face nanti, we'll see. 

So, nak pesan kat diri sendiri, jangan sedih sangat boleh dak? you have everything you need and everyone that loves you. Nak apa lagi? Allah baru uji sikit ja dah nak down. Cheer up please! and tolonglah bersyukur. appreciate people around you. yang sentiasa ada when you need them. im so sorry to sesapa yang terguris ka terasa ka kalau i tak contact. i know i'm suck. and im sorry. i will try to be better at expressing myself. i promise that i'll change. slowly. i'll improve myself. i promise.

And please pray for me. Semoga Farhana dapat UPU/penerapan kos yang dia mintak tu, aminn.. 

tq :)